Monday, January 16, 2012

Why We Didn’t Watch The Kentucky Derby

This is what happened on the farm the day of the Derby. I recounted the epic event to one of my friends in a chat window and this is how it went. Somehow there came to be an alternate version during the telling of the story, which I thought some might find entertaining. My friend’s replies to my story are in italics. Here is how it went down.


Okay, once upon a time, otherwise known as today, Isabel went out to catch Ivanna to ride her. Ivannasaurus is the massive fancy bay horse that we all like, but is terribly spooky and bucked me off once.
Fancy bay unicorn. Also Isabel is a princess. Continue with the story...
When Isabel went to buckle the halter, Ivanna spooked away from her and then Isabel couldn't get close to her again. Since Ivanna was in a thirty acre pasture with the rest of the dozen other mares. Isabel came and got me as backup. Ivanna was in the dry lot area with a few other mares, so we closed the gate and locked them in. Except the dry lot is kind of still big. We got up to Ivanna, but when we went to buckle the halter, she got away from us.
Now this is a horse who we've been working with since July NEVER had problems catching her. So we chased her around with the ATV to get her a little tired and tried again. Peg came over to join our ranks. Ivanna was soon huffing and puffing, so we stopped and tried to wrangle her again. One of us would try to go up to her and touch her and the other two would head her off if she tried to get away. It did not work. So we made a new plan. Next to the dry lot is a barn/shed where we store straw bales. There's a gate to the dry lot. We opened the gate, led two horses in and chased the others inside, hoping to get Ivanna into the smaller space, put out the others, and catch her there. She did not go in.  
So the crazy unicorn was using her unicorn powers to evade the princesses’ attempts at catching and taming the majestic beast.
After more chasing with the four-wheeler, we decided that that plan needed to end and we needed a new one. Peg called us over and we went to a corner of the dry lot. We cornered Ivanna in the corner, and I held Renee' on one side of her and Isabel held Vanity on the other side of her, with their butts facing the fence. So we trapped her between the two mares.
And so the princesses realize they cannot combat the great unicorn's magical powers, so they decide to try and beat her at a game of wits.
Oh and I forgot to mention. We had an extra halter on the four-wheeler and Hazel walked over to it, grabbed the halter in her mouth, went up to Peg, who was trying to touch Ivanna and shook the halter at Peg like "here, just get this on her so we can stop running around" Anyways, back to the corner.  
Lol I'm liking this story.
Hazel came over by me with Renee' to form an even more powerful wall. Then Ivanna decided to sneak past Renee's butt. Bad idea!  
Oh no! Did they defeat the majestic unicorn and harness her powers for good?
I backed Renee' up to close the space and Renee' gave Ivanna's kneecap a light kick. Peg tried to touch Ivanna and Ivanna again tried to sneak past Renee'. Renee' gave her a good kick and Ivanna decided it was unwise to leave the corner. She tried to go behind Vanity, but the boss mare gave her the evil eye. Ivanna thought about jumping over the fence, but the electric fence zapped her. She looked at Renee' and Renee' cocked a hind hoof in warning. Ivanna looked back at the fence.  
THE SUSPENSE IS KILLING ME.
Peg slowly but surely was able to touch Ivanna. She rubbed her neck and talked soothingly to her. She rubbed the halter on her sweaty dripping neck and worked it onto her face. Isabel handed her the lead rope and the dinosaur was captured!!! Then we put her in prison. Haha.  
AND THE UNICORN BECAME A DINOSAUR didn't see that coming. Excellent twist!
The most bestest part was when Renee' was super powerful smart brain and kicked Ivanna to keep her from running away. And the second besty was when Hazel brought Peg the halter.  
YOU CAN ALWAYS COUNT ON YOUR TRUSTY UNICORN SIDEKICKS (:


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